I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
