Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
