I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
