Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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