I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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