this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
