Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
