the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
