so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
