Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
