marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
