I want to have your abortion
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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