your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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