he laminated a picture of his dick.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
