Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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