I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
