Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
When are your genitals available?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
