I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
