So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
