ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
bring money and cleavage
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
