Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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