Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
