the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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