I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
