Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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