U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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