Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She said her name was "party"
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
