Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
why do cheetos always look like penises
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
