is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
