Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize