you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
