I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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