found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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