Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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