is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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