i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
