Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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