We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
