she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
