Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
