You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you remember whose house we're in?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
