she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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