The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
