i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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