Got a toothbrush?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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