You just made me feel so damn special
one might say we're banned from that church
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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