He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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