Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
