he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
