did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
ok first of all what the fuck
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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