Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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