but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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