You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
