ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I lost the right to judge tonight
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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