look no pants
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
